Worth of a Teacher

Well, I haven’t made any posts for awhile and my state is kind of blowing up at the moment, so I thought I would take the time to let anyone who doesn’t know in on the loop. All of WV’s schools have been closed since Thursday of last week.

Why you ask.

Because they got a 1% increase this year BUT their health insurance (PEIA) went up over 600 dollars a month, and it was the straw that finally broke the camels back.

Teachers everywhere are stretched thin on resources. Let me stress that before I say anything else. However, West Virginia is one of the lowest paying states for teachers, and it is causing problems as a lot of new graduates for education are taking their diplomas and moving to states that have a higher value of teachers. We have teachers retiring and not enough new teachers to replace them.

Yet, we give them a 1% raise.

Teachers spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, with your kids,  loving them, teaching them, and trying to be a good role model. Many people don’t understand however that a teacher doesn’t simply teach. It’s not roll call at 9 and a lesson for an hour. It’s roll call, Johnny running in late ’cause his mom’s car broke down again on the way there. Its pull out the lesson book and Aaron pulled Michelle’s hair. It’s coaxing shy Rachel to read an entire paragraph while class clown Daniel makes fun of her stutter. It’s asking Micah a question five times because his mind is at home worried about a sick father. It’s the kids with ADD and ADHD and ODD disrupting class and all the other factors that kids bring from home.

Yet, we give them a 1% raise.

Evenings are spent grading paperwork and working on lesson plans. Trying to figure out the best help for the kid that’s falling behind while not leaving the kid that’s too smart bored. It’s panicking over making sure that all their kids can pass the standardized test.

Yet, we give them a 1% raise.

So yes, the teachers in my state are all on strike. Yes, that means not a single public school is open. Yes, it’s hard for teachers and parents both. And yes! It needed to be done. And Yes! We NEED to support them 100%.

Remember, these are the people who influence your children’s love of learning. These are the people who fight to have programs in place so that kids don’t go hungry on the weekends. Shouldn’t they be worth more than $404? Shouldn’t they be worth the insurance to keep them healthy and in class?

#55strong #WVproud #WVTeacherStrike

#MeToo

Sexual assault/harassment is a shameful thing. Let me repeat that. Sexual assault and harassment is a shameful thing.

Not for the man, woman, or child mind you, but for the assailant. For the one who decided they had the right to take choice from a fully aware adult, to take innocence from a child it is a shameful thing. Why else would they so easily attempt to put the blame on their very victim if not for the deep knowledge that this is their, the assailant’s, decision? Why place the blame for unwanted sexual comments on a person’s clothing?

Over the last week, my social media has been completely overtaken with MeToo. The most frequent one that came up was this:

It’s a wonderful sentiment, but let me go ahead and say #MeToo is NOT just women. It is women, and men, and boys, and girls. It’s straight, it’s gay, it’s trans. #MeToo transcends politics, religions, ages, and ethnicities. #MeToo because together if we can all acknowledge there is a problem, maybe we can come together to help one another in strength, in weakness, and in love.

Moving forward…

I apologize for my last post. Actually,  I apologize that that’s the first post y’all have seen from me in awhile, I’m not going to apologize for my feelings. I’m not always able to stay cheery and optimistic, although I certainly do try. No one should ever have to apologize that they’re not happy, not having an easy time of it.

However, I do want to kind of touch base and let y’all know where I am right now, what things have changed, etc. So, the most important update – WE ARE HOME OWNERS!!! Never really thought that would happen, but hallelujah it did! It’s got some work to be done it, but mainly it needs love.

It’s a much bigger house than where we previously were, and I can’t help loving it. I love my neighbors. I love that once we put in the work needed on the house we can hopefully apply to be foster parents next spring.

I’m working on loom projects and sashay scarves for some extra money to do the things we want to do on the house.

Oh, and I’ve completely quit pop so there’s that as well. 🙂

Infertility Is…

Pain. Loss. Shame. Heartbreak.

Infertility is getting your hopes up when you’re “late”. It’s your body tricking you into thinking your upset stomach MUST be because it has finally happened. It’s buying countless pregnancy tests. It’s hiding those boxes, tucked away in a corner so no one knows how badly you fool yourself.

Infertility is taking those tests, seeing the result you DON’T WANT TO SEE and cramming the test, box, and instructions as far into the trashcan as it can go so there’s no possible way anyone knows.

It’s when you go to buy the test and the sales clerk smiles and asks if you’re excited. It’s being asking a million and one times if you want kids. Explaining a million and one times that God, YES you want kids. You want a whole house full of babies running around laughing and trying your patience but loving every second of it. It’s knowing in the deepest part of your heart that even if you could have one… just one… that very raw spot in your heart would be soothed.

It’s hiding from your spouse, your family, just how deep the hurt goes, how much it’s on your mind day and night this secret shame and failure.

Infertility is a tiny, soft whisper 24/7 that maybe it’s because you’re just not good enough for that particular blessing. 

THE CHURCH SUPPORTS ADDICTS!!! (Read in Entirety)

Recently, I ran into a situation that I can say threw me for a loop. The community we live in has had an ongoing water issue, and to keep everyone updated there has been a community page created specifically for this issue. The other day we all get a notification that there’s been a new post. My heart drops slightly. I’m thinking Oh Great. What’s going on now?

So, I click on the notification and the post I see says “***** Church supports addicts!” This woman who made the post is extremely upset by the fact that a local church has brought money or food to her neighbor. I didn’t ask specifics because frankly, I was more upset by her thought process.

The church supports addicts.

Why did this upset her so much? Several of us were asking her to take this post down and after several long minutes of explaining why this was inappropriate, the post was finally taken down. By the moderator.

The church supports addicts.

What does this statement even mean that would so greatly upset her? Had she reached out to the church and been denied? Had she asked for help? She didn’t say and again, I didn’t ask.

I didn’t ask for a very specific reason. I didn’t ask because I don’t see anything wrong with supporting addicts. Now, let me explain what I mean. When I think about support I think about bills being paid and food on the table. I think about an offered trip to the grocery store. I think about sitting down with the person and inviting them to church. I think about praying for them. I think about praying with them. I think about offering them a ride to church.

According to google support as a verb means to bear all or part of the weight, to hold up. To give assistance, to enable to function or act.

The church supports addicts. And drunks. And adulterers. And profaners.

THE CHURCH SUPPORTS SINNERS!!! Why? Because we all fall short.

How did you meet your husband?

I get asked this question so often it’s hilarious. Anyone who meets us knows instantly my husband is not from around here. He doesn’t have the accent, that rolling, twangy drawl that everyone else does. Although, if you get him in the right mood, he can certainly do a good impression of that thick McDowell county lingo, and a better Jack Sparrow cannot be found.

So, what’s the truth, huh? How did this handsome, sweet, rock of my life get from NY to WV? We met online. We weren’t on a dating site or anything like that. We are both writers (though we barely seem to have time for it now), and we ended up writing together. I quickly found that not only did I enjoy writing stories with him, but our side commentary revealed that I generally liked the man behind the character as well.

Neither of us was looking for anything from each other. In fact, he had a someone he was talking to when we first became friends, and life was too hectic with Mom’s dialysis for me to even consider a boyfriend.

I confessed things to this man that I couldn’t tell the people I saw in my daily life. Fast forward a couple years to 2008. He’s now single, but I’m still taking care of my Mom. Mom has a stroke

Mom has a stroke in late 2008. It leaves her paralyzed on her right side. I’ll never forget going out to the car from the ER. I felt so lost in that moment. Dad was with Mom, and all my other siblings had someone to lean on. I just needed someone to talk to for a minute, just enough to calm down. I honestly cannot remember if I called him or texted him and then he called me back, but I remember the relief I felt when I heard his voice.

He started calling and texting every day to check on how we were doing. He would call when he knew we were visiting Mom and sing to her. He was there every second I needed him and our friendship grew into something that was so much more. We fell into saying I love you without any thought of it. It was just natural.

He came to WV to visit us in June 2009 with a duffel bag and nothing else, because it was just supposed to be a visit. He stayed. He chose to stay with me, with us, and in December 2009 we were married.

And that’s the story of how a NYer came to claim WV for his home.

 

Love Day

Yesterday was Valentine’s. A day that everyone celebrates by giving their loved ones some token of affection whether it be simple words or a physical reminder. Today, I have a question for you, for all of us really.

Are you showing your love on other days? Not just to your spouse, children, parents, siblings, etc but to everyone. Are you showing your love to the world?

If you see your neighbor stranded on the side of the road, do you stop and check on them? Or do you drive by without another thought?

As a Christian, a believer, a lover, a follower of Christ, the biggest belief that I have is love. I’m a firm believer that love can conquer anything, but in order to do that we actually have to show our love. We can’t keep it hidden away. It must be a light, a glow, a beacon in the blackest of black nights.

 

A big part of this is changing the way we think first. Stop thinking that everyone you see asking for money is trying to scam you. Not everyone is out to ‘screw’ you. Stop thinking that that person using the scooter at WalMart is just lazy because you can’t see anything wrong with them. Not everyone has a disability you can see right away. Stop thinking that the skinny person in their car must be pilled out of their head. Maybe they’re homeless, maybe they have a fast metabolism. Maybe they are high and need someone to pray for them, to reach out to them, to love them.

It’s the day after the day that the world celebrates love. And I’m asking everyone to please remember that. Remember the love. We’re all just human here trying to get by.

Love

Our romance didn’t change the world, it didn’t make the world a better place. Our romance won’t go down as sensational, or scandalous, or to many even memorable. But to me, your love changed my world, it’s made me a better woman, a stronger woman. I borrow from your strength daily. To me, your love will be what I always think of no matter how dark things may get. No, your love for me didn’t change the world around us, but it changed the way I see the world and interact with the world.

In the years to come our love will continue to flourish, it will nurture our children.

Our love is as quiet as a whisper, as deep as the ocean, and as solid as a diamond.

Gvgeyuhi … with all my heart.

“Just” an EMT.

My husband is an EMT as well as beginning his firefighter training. As such, a lot of our friends are now EMTs simply because that’s the circle that he runs in.  I’ve seen a lot of facebook posts recently about how there is no such thing as “just” an EMT. I’ve also seen and heard nurses call them just ambulance drivers.

I would like to go on a more personal explanation of why EMTs are not a “just” anything. They have the capability to make a bad situation either bearable or a horrible event that will stick with you the rest of your life.  Because I took care of both my parents, I had a lot of interaction with EMS and sometimes it wasn’t a great interaction, but sometimes it was all that kept me from having a panic attack in the middle of a crisis. They’ve been both my lifeline and the person I wanted to slap.

Let me start with what was by far my worst experience, because I want to get it out of the way as I think the good interactions far outweigh the bad.

My mom had a stroke in 2008. My dad came to my room and woke me up saying simply that something was wrong. I get to their room and Mom is laying on her back staring at the ceiling, not quite able to focus on either of us. The side of her mouth had a noticeable droop as did her eyelid. She was unable to move the right side of her body, and all she could say was no. She literally could get no other word to come out. We immediately called 911. Mind you, we live in the middle of nowhere so we knew it would take time for EMS to respond. 

One of us started calling my brothers and sisters, though I honestly don’t know who. 

I will forever remember feeling desperately helpless, and then when the EMTs finally got there they sat outside and worked on paperwork before they came in, and then when they came in they looked at my mother and said, “Well, we don’t see any signs of a stroke, but we’ll transport if you want us to.” 

Looking back on this, I wish I had the understanding that I do now. I wish I had remembered names. My mother was laying there unable to move one entire side of her body, saying a very slurred no over and over with the side of her face drooping, and yet they saw no signs of a stroke. It terrifies me what could have happened had we listened to them and not pressed to have her taken to the hospital. We ended up having only about a year and a half with her after that, how much shorter could that have been? How much longer if she’d been able to get to a hospital quick enough to get the proper medicine?

This was the one and only time I ever can remember a truly horrid experience with the EMTs and first responders who seemed to become a part of our lives. There was a time before Mom’s stroke that Dad and I had went to town to get groceries. We came home to find mom passed out, laying half over the kitchen table with the phone off the hook by her feet and sick-up all over the floor. Mom never remembered this so she couldn’t tell us if she was trying to call for help. We called 911 and I think they must have grown wings because it’s the fastest I ever remember them getting to our house. The feeling of relief when they came in and took over the situation was indescribable. They administered oral glucose to bring Mom’s blood sugar back up and then we were off to the ER. (That one turned into an adventure which led to a stay in Roanoke.)

There was the time I had an allergic reaction to a medicine I was prescribed by accident and my face swelled up along with all the muscles randomly spasming and almost biting my tongue off. The EMTs spotted the rash on the side of my throat quicker that even my mom.

There have been many instances where EMS became involved in our lives, not just emergency situations either. After Mom’s stroke, it was the three times a week trips to the dialysis center. It was Mom calling and canceling her appointments and the EMTs who normally worked her calls calling back or showing up anyways and talking her into going. It was her usual team getting her a little surprise for Christmas that made her day. When she was hospitalized (because she often refused her treatments), they would call and check on her or if they saw me out they’d stop and ask how she was doing.

It’s because of this that we have never thought of the EMTs in our life as “just” anything. This continues even more now that my husband has made this his career. I’ve seen him jump from a moving vehicle to get over a bank to someone who wrecked. I’ve seen him go days without sleep while he runs calls. Going out anywhere with him is going out with the knowledge that he’s an EMT first and foremost and that if we run into any situation, he will pull over and do what he can to help. It’s being in church and knowing if his pager goes off, he will answer. It’s who an EMT is. Their first instinct is to do whatever they can to help anyone in their path. There is no such thing as “just” an EMT. It’s not “just” a job to them. It is so very much an integral part of who they are.

It’s a New Year…

So, I thought I’d take a minute and talk about my plans for 2017, try to get a little more positivity and planning in my blog. 

First, I want y’all to know that I plan to blog more often. 2016 was rough, and the depression kept me questioning whether or not I should post most of the things on my mind. Actually, I’m planning to do more writing in general. I miss writing. I’ve always loved it, even more than reading as I get to do with the characters as I want to.

Next, I plan to be more active physically. I say this every year and it fails, but I’m hopeful that I have a friend who will ride bikes with me this year and help keep me on track. If I could find someone who will walk with me around town that will be extremely helpful as well, although even I’m not gonna do it in the middle of winter. Way too accident prone for that idea.

(Although, as soon as we have enough snow I fully plan to ambush my cousins in a snowball fight.)

Third, I want to work on my relationships this year. With God, with family, with friends, with anyone that I love. This last year I’ve been distant with pretty much everyone, and a big part of that has been the depression and anxiety.

I would say fourth, but I think this ties in with my relationships too much – try to find a way to get the depression and anxiety under control. I’m tired of it keeping me from doing things that I want to do and things the hubby wants to do. We had so many things planned in 2016, and when it came down to it either I couldn’t do it because of my issues or hubby was also having to back out of arrangements because I needed him.

Last I think is trying to be more thankful. I’m always worried that those around me aren’t aware of just how much I appreciate and love them, especially my “inner circle”, but if it wasn’t for these people that God has put in my life I can’t help but to think that my world would shatter sometimes. So to all of you – thank you.

Let’s try to make 2017 a better year,  a happier year.

(PS – There will be a lot more looming as well!!!! I have plans y’all. )