#MeToo

Sexual assault/harassment is a shameful thing. Let me repeat that. Sexual assault and harassment is a shameful thing.

Not for the man, woman, or child mind you, but for the assailant. For the one who decided they had the right to take choice from a fully aware adult, to take innocence from a child it is a shameful thing. Why else would they so easily attempt to put the blame on their very victim if not for the deep knowledge that this is their, the assailant’s, decision? Why place the blame for unwanted sexual comments on a person’s clothing?

Over the last week, my social media has been completely overtaken with MeToo. The most frequent one that came up was this:22459489_10100234574593176_7880757718387166044_o

It’s a wonderful sentiment, but let me go ahead and say #MeToo is NOT just women. It is women, and men, and boys, and girls. It’s straight, it’s gay, it’s trans. #MeToo transcends politics, religions, ages, and ethnicities. #MeToo because together if we can all acknowledge there is a problem, maybe we can come together to help one another in strength, in weakness, and in love.

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Moving forward…

I apologize for my last post. Actually,  I apologize that that’s the first post y’all have seen from me in awhile, I’m not going to apologize for my feelings. I’m not always able to stay cheery and optimistic, although I certainly do try. No one should ever have to apologize that they’re not happy, not having an easy time of it.

However, I do want to kind of touch base and let y’all know where I am right now, what things have changed, etc. So, the most important update – WE ARE HOME OWNERS!!! Never really thought that would happen, but hallelujah it did! It’s got some work to be done it, but mainly it needs love.

It’s a much bigger house than where we previously were, and I can’t help loving it. I love my neighbors. I love that once we put in the work needed on the house we can hopefully apply to be foster parents next spring.

I’m working on loom projects and sashay scarves for some extra money to do the things we want to do on the house.

Oh, and I’ve completely quit pop so there’s that as well. 🙂

Infertility Is…

Pain. Loss. Shame. Heartbreak.

Infertility is getting your hopes up when you’re “late”. It’s your body tricking you into thinking your upset stomach MUST be because it has finally happened. It’s buying countless pregnancy tests. It’s hiding those boxes, tucked away in a corner so no one knows how badly you fool yourself.

Infertility is taking those tests, seeing the result you DON’T WANT TO SEE and cramming the test, box, and instructions as far into the trashcan as it can go so there’s no possible way anyone knows.

It’s when you go to buy the test and the sales clerk smiles and asks if you’re excited. It’s being asking a million and one times if you want kids. Explaining a million and one times that God, YES you want kids. You want a whole house full of babies running around laughing and trying your patience but loving every second of it. It’s knowing in the deepest part of your heart that even if you could have one… just one… that very raw spot in your heart would be soothed.

It’s hiding from your spouse, your family, just how deep the hurt goes, how much it’s on your mind day and night this secret shame and failure.

Infertility is a tiny, soft whisper 24/7 that maybe it’s because you’re just not good enough for that particular blessing. ee9312e89e7b45e64106a4fbef45900d--best-christmas-presents-christmas-eve

THE CHURCH SUPPORTS ADDICTS!!! (Read in Entirety)

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Recently, I ran into a situation that I can say threw me for a loop. The community we live in has had an ongoing water issue, and to keep everyone updated there has been a community page created specifically for this issue. The other day we all get a notification that there’s been a new post. My heart drops slightly. I’m thinking Oh Great. What’s going on now?

So, I click on the notification and the post I see says “***** Church supports addicts!” This woman who made the post is extremely upset by the fact that a local church has brought money or food to her neighbor. I didn’t ask specifics because frankly, I was more upset by her thought process.

The church supports addicts.

Why did this upset her so much? Several of us were asking her to take this post down and after several long minutes of explaining why this was inappropriate, the post was finally taken down. By the moderator.

The church supports addicts.

What does this statement even mean that would so greatly upset her? Had she reached out to the church and been denied? Had she asked for help? She didn’t say and again, I didn’t ask.

I didn’t ask for a very specific reason. I didn’t ask because I don’t see anything wrong with supporting addicts. Now, let me explain what I mean. When I think about support I think about bills being paid and food on the table. I think about an offered trip to the grocery store. I think about sitting down with the person and inviting them to church. I think about praying for them. I think about praying with them. I think about offering them a ride to church.

According to google support as a verb means to bear all or part of the weight, to hold up. To give assistance, to enable to function or act.

The church supports addicts. And drunks. And adulterers. And profaners.

THE CHURCH SUPPORTS SINNERS!!! Why? Because we all fall short.

How did you meet your husband?

I get asked this question so often it’s hilarious. Anyone who meets us knows instantly my husband is not from around here. He doesn’t have the accent, that rolling, twangy drawl that everyone else does. Although, if you get him in the right mood, he can certainly do a good impression of that thick McDowell county lingo, and a better Jack Sparrow cannot be found.

So, what’s the truth, huh? How did this handsome, sweet, rock of my life get from NY to WV?1914669_128972619646_6204378_n We met online. We weren’t on a dating site or anything like that. We are both writers (though we barely seem to have time for it now), and we ended up writing together. I quickly found that not only did I enjoy writing stories with him, but our side commentary revealed that I generally liked the man behind the character as well.

Neither of us was looking for anything from each other. In fact, he had a someone he was talking to when we first became friends, and life was too hectic with Mom’s dialysis for me to even consider a boyfriend.

I confessed things to this man that I couldn’t tell the people I saw in my daily life. Fast forward a couple years to 2008. He’s now single, but I’m still taking care of my Mom. Mom has a stroke

Mom has a stroke in late 2008. It leaves her paralyzed on her right side. I’ll never forget going out to the car from the ER. I felt so lost in that moment. Dad was with Mom, and all my other siblings had someone to lean on. I just needed someone to talk to for a minute, just enough to calm down. I honestly cannot remember if I called him or texted him and then he called me back, but I remember the relief I felt when I heard his voice.

He started calling and texting every day to check on how we were doing. He would call when he knew we were visiting Mom and sing to her. He was there every second I needed him and our friendship grew into something that was so much more. We fell into saying I love you without any thought of it. It was just natural.

He came to WV to visit us in June 2009 with a duffel bag and nothing else, because it was just supposed to be a visit. He stayed. He chose to stay with me, with us, and in December 2009 we were married.

And that’s the story of how a NYer came to claim WV for his home.

 

Love Day

Yesterday was Valentine’s. A day that everyone celebrates by giving their loved ones some token of affection whether it be simple words or a physical reminder. Today, I have a question for you, for all of us really.

Are you showing your love on other days? Not just to your spouse, children, parents, siblings, etc but to everyone. Are you showing your love to the world?

If you see your neighbor stranded on the side of the road, do you stop and check on them? Or do you drive by without another thought?

As a Christian, a believer, a lover, a follower of Christ, the biggest belief that I have is love. I’m a firm believer that love can conquer anything, but in order to do that we actually have to show our love. We can’t keep it hidden away. It must be a light, a glow, a beacon in the blackest of black nights.

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A big part of this is changing the way we think first. Stop thinking that everyone you see asking for money is trying to scam you. Not everyone is out to ‘screw’ you. Stop thinking that that person using the scooter at WalMart is just lazy because you can’t see anything wrong with them. Not everyone has a disability you can see right away. Stop thinking that the skinny person in their car must be pilled out of their head. Maybe they’re homeless, maybe they have a fast metabolism. Maybe they are high and need someone to pray for them, to reach out to them, to love them.

It’s the day after the day that the world celebrates love. And I’m asking everyone to please remember that. Remember the love. We’re all just human here trying to get by.

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Love

Our romance didn’t change the world, it didn’t make the world a better place. Our romance won’t go down as sensational, or scandalous, or to many even memorable. But to me, your love changed my world, it’s made me a better woman, a stronger woman. I borrow from your strength daily. To me, your love will be what I always think of no matter how dark things may get. No, your love for me didn’t change the world around us, but it changed the way I see the world and interact with the world.

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In the years to come our love will continue to flourish, it will nurture our children.

Our love is as quiet as a whisper, as deep as the ocean, and as solid as a diamond.

Gvgeyuhi … with all my heart.