It can’t happen to a man…

I saw this conversation on Facebook that was discussing rape, and one of the comments as to another participant. “You can’t understand because you’re a man.”  This statement bothers me. No. This statement actually infuriates me.

“Men and Boys Are Also Affected by Sexual Violence. Millions of men in the United States have been victims of rape. As of 1998, 2.78 million men in the U.S. had been victims of attempted or completed rape. About 3% of American men—or 1 in 33—have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime.”

This might seem comparatively low to rape among women, but I want you to think about this for a moment. It’s hard for a woman to come forward and admit they’ve been raped, mollested, taken advantage of. The emotions that survivors go through are horrendous.


As hard as it for us, for women, how hard do you think it is for a man – who is told don’t act like a girl, don’t cry, be strong, practically from birth – to come forward and say, “I’m a victim. Someone abused me, raped me, did unspeakable things to me?”


Another thing that we seem to forget, it doesn’t have to be a man to do the raping. Male or female is capable of being a rapist just the same as the victim. There are a lot of jokes that fly around about not raping the willing. There’s an awful big different between the physical response the body was designed to give, and the emotional and psychological response that is screaming DON’T TOUCH ME.


When are we going to open our eyes and recognize that this is a real problem? It’s not stories just being made up, it’s pain, it’s suffering, it’s humiliation. It’s time we stopped making jokes about rape. It’s time that we opened our eyes and did something, and for the men suffering in silence that is for all of us to acknowledge what they have went through and are continuing to go through. Stop saying “It’s different for a man.” or “A man wouldn’t understand.” Because trust me, far more of them understand more than you think.

The amount of Survivors in this world is startling, and it’s time we simply embraced and supported one another.


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