Depression Is…

…a pain in my ever-lovin’ derriere. Today, unfortunately is one of the bad days and all I can hear is this little voice whispering in my ear of all my failures and shortcomings and reasons why I’m not good enough. I don’t necessarily enjoying writing about it, especially when there is so much worse going on in the world, but sometimes getting it out helps.

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Today, depression is hearing how silent my house is. It’s the whispers of mom and dad that haunt me no matter what room I’m in or what I plan to do to that room to try to chase away those memories.

Depression is, no matter what my husband, heart, mind, friends, etc tell me, hearing how horrible a person that I must be that God would bless those around me with so many babes, and we still haven’t …

Depression is knowing you need to get out of bed and get things done, but not being able to convince yourself that it actually matters enough. It’s staring off into space unaware of the passage of time and coming back to yourself only to realize that instead of 2 in the afternoon it is now 8 pm.

It’s wanting to work on a story, poem, song, or blog and then going back to read them and realizing that nothing you’ve written is anymore than rubbish.

It’s the utter worthlessness that creeps into your very soul that you can’t contribute. You can’t ADD to life. All you do is take from you.

Today is one of those days.

 

 

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